Happiness - A Bliss? A Torture?
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Monday Question 3
Sometimes we are content with being just okay in life because we do not really know what real happiness means. Because we do not have anything to compare with what we have. We feel good. Right. We even admit we are happy. We do. And we are. Or we think so. But only till the moment when we happen to be really happy. As in overwhelmingly happy. As in fairy tale type happy. Except for the happily ever after part. Because at some point we realize this moment of true happiness won’t last forever, will it? You wish you could save a moment… because after some time it’ll be gone forever. You’ll never have that feeling again and you’ll always want to get it back whenever things go bad.
Do you want to experience extreme happiness when you know it can be gone? It will be gone. At some point. Don’t you think it’s better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life? And is this happiness a bliss or a torture?
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Being a burned-alive-and-reborn-cold victim of love’s emotional games/tricks, I’ve had my share of “brief momentary happiness” - and although I admit it WAS good at that time, I’ve had a bad after-effect - like a T-shirt print I saw: “Love is like a roller-coaster; once it’s over, you throw up.” - a long-lasting negative impression that made me the untrusting individualist I am today.
Yes, indeed it WOULD be nice to have a blissfully exhilarating love life, rather than a stable safe and rather boring one. But such bliss is almost - as you said it - fairy-tale like. Too many of us do not believe such a thing exists anymore. As they say in the movie The Matrix, human beings’ reality is defined by a state of constant disappointment, hardship, suffering, and the fairy-tale like Utopia we build always falls apart, because the human mind cannot accept that this could ever be real.
So to be realistic, if you ask me now, I’d rather choose the boring, but stable one. That’s safe for myself. Something that won’t hurt me too badly.
Of course, being a woman, I do not deny that the emotional part would still like to have some form of bliss and happiness in my life, if that choice was available, one that would not end up in hurt. But it’s not some bare necessity I couldn’t live without now.
[Reply]
Fairy tales are just that. I prefer to live solidly in the real world with both feet on the ground. And in the real world, “bliss” does not exist. As for happiness, it is 100% up to the individual. Sure, the daily piss-off’s and disappointments may get you down, but in the end, you make the choice as to whether you’re going to allow these things to destroy your life or move on.
I watched a movie from 2001 last night called “Prozac Nation” that was demonstrative of the above referenced point. All the protagonist did was whine/cry/complain and otherwise complicate her life with self-induced dramas. She allowed every little bump in the road to completely derail her emotional well-being. And instead of picking herself back up, learning from the experience and moving on, she chose to wallow in her own self-pity. The more she wallowed and tried to drown it with substances & chemicals, the more the event was amplified into a life destroying malady.
The story was based on a true life story written by Harvard graduate & Yale law school grad, Elizabeth Wurtzel. She blamed her dramas on “depression,” but it was a clear case of an over-meddling, over-involved parent who was the primary reason why her daughter was unable to deal with life.
Peyton Farquhar´s last blog ..Memorial Day
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A beautiful moment gone will never ever return back inspite of knowing this we still yearn for such moment..every hour..every second..because these moments are montage of our extreme happiness..happiness which stays no longer because it is having a very close friendship with sadness they both share equal roles on stage of our life.When we know that life is not bed of roses,we should learn to bear the pain of thorns in order to have fragrance of rose.Extreme happiness can only be there where there is no fears of loosing.When we know we are going to loose something some day we fail to be with that something for even those some days.Happiness is when you have a free soul..free from barriers..free from fears…even if it last for a second and this second of extreme happiness is a bliss.It’s better to live happily every single moment till happiness is there in your haven then to be tortured by the thought that it may not last longer.
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Lena being happy is general. I find that happiness is really spread out. For example, I am happy with Matthew even when he bites me, lol, I am happy with my family life. But then I am not happy with the constantly rising living prices, I am not happy with my neighbor sometimes. I think over all you cannot be happy in general, because life is a roller coaster. Excellent questions girl, hope you are doing well. Anna
Anna´s last blog ..A Simple Beauty Of The Green Season 
[Reply]
Lena,
Happiness comes from within. But no human in this world can be 100% happy coz in our minds we put lots of queries or unwanted thinking which generates negativity. When that negativity reflects our happiness, we do become a torture for luxury, fame and wat not.
So happiness is a bliss as long as you are happy with your needs with no comparison.
[Reply]
Hi Lena…
I remember writing a post measuring happines…
Here’s something that I feel on this:
Happiness for a moment or for life is really a relative issue…what constitutes happiness for us! Pleasure is often misconstrued for happiness!
Pleasure is relative while happiness is absolute.
At the first instance it leaves you with a sense of puzzlement as to how they are different?
But they really are…
Pleasures are small nitty gritties of life that we strive for each day…like those dear tasks which we like- if they get fulfilled or those annoying ones- if they get removed from our path, they bring us pleasure. We bathe in the shower of this momentary joy feeling the blood rush and smiles widen and a general feel good factor within.
Happiness on the other hand is not transitory. It does not come and go like pleasure. It is either there and if there then to stay or you are completely devoid of it. It is deeper and more fulfilling. It just doesn’t cover the gaping holes; it saps the voids, protectively and meticulously. Once you get that job, pass your grade, throw that grand party, meet the deadline…the pleasure no doubt is great but only till you move on to the next task at hand and again sit to fret about it till its accomplishment; Whereas happiness becomes synonymous with permanent and long lasting peace and content. Happiness is not related to fulfilment or failures and to things…it is a state of mind!
What should we strive for?
Obviously happiness…
In the mundane humdrum of life, if we stumble upon failure in complying to achieve these little pleasures, it’s not such a big deal. It’s constructive for it triggers off double the amount of endeavours. What we really need to strive for…is making our inner self bask in contentment, for if we fail there, it’s pretty much a situation of complete despair. “What I have is enough and I could have been worse than this” is a beautiful self driving thought.
suruchi´s last blog ..My Outlandish Dream!
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THREE
@suruchi, (Yes, I’m still having another look at this old post, and people’s comments
I really like this answer, the way suruchi explains what is ‘happiness’ and what is ‘pleasure (bliss)’, and the fact that though sometimes the two may overlap, they are not the same. Nice way you put it
[Reply]
Hi Lena,
I hope I’m not too late for this week.
Let’s break down this question; first off Bliss is actually a higher state of happiness. It’s the highest state of well being that any of us can obtain & several religions recognize the state of bliss only being possible when we are truly enlightened.
The truth is all happiness can be enjoyed forever, the reason why we “fall out” of happiness is because of the EGO. The EGO wants more of everything, including happiness, & therefore removes us from the current moment to search for more happiness. This stepping away from the “now” is what removes us from the happy feeling. If we learn to move beyond the EGO we can stay in a state of happiness indefinitely!
We all have times in our life that things don’t go the way we want them to & thus we feel disconnected from our joyful/happy life but even in difficult times we can find joy if allow it into our heart. We need the “sad” to understand what happiness is & once we understand that happiness comes from within us we can smooth out the bumps in the road of life & live a life filled with happiness.
Hugs,
Bill
Bill´s last blog ..The skin of our teeth!
[Reply]
Green Eyes
We, especially girls, are conditioned from childhood to believe in Happy After Ever fairy tales, the problem with fairy tales is they end and don’t tell you what happens later.
I have learned the hard way through a lot of heartbreak that there is no such thing, we need to find our own happiness, and realize that no one person can be that everything, no one can MAKE us happy.
Whether there is someone in my life or not, I now know that I don’t NEED a man for happiness, that it was in myself all along.
I can choose to wallow in my heartbreak, sitting in a pool of self pity, or I can pick myself up, raise my head high, smile because I CAN, and make my life the best it can be.
I can be happy, and enjoy those moments of happiness, the smell of the rain, the smile of a stranger, and the hugs and kisses of grandchildren. I can appreciate a talk with a good friend, raising my voice in song, dancing through my house blasting the music, and sitting quietly on my porch watching the sunset behind the church.
I can savor the taste of a fresh cup of coffee, curling up on my couch with a good book, snuggling under the blankets on a cold night, watching the ocean’s waves break over the sand, and each moment builds upon the other to make a fulfilling and satisfying life.
There will still be moments of hardship, sadness and heartbreak in my life, but those times make me stronger and make me appreciate all the good things all the more.
And my life, despite the hard times, is full to the brim with good things.
A partner shouldn’t be depended on to provide happiness, but enhance happiness that is already there.
Green Eyes´s last blog ..Support and news.
[Reply]
Happiness has many faces, but I found out that happiness is achieved even in the simplest of things.
It is that thing that could make you smile or make your day! That person that could put a sweet smile in your lips, that could inspire you to do wonderful things, that could inspire you to achieve many and difficult things. That is happiness.
And much, much more!
Wonderful thoughts Lena, thanks for sharing…:)
Amity´s last blog ..Agony
[Reply]
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