Home » Literary Corner: fiction and poetry

Break up

19 November 2009 12 Comments

love gone 300x225 Break upShe smiled bitterly at him, tears in her eyes.

Don’t forget to bang the door when you go, he said.

Why?

That’s how people make it final.

Then can you stand at the window and watch me leave?

Why?

As if you still care.

She banged the door. He switched on TV and grinned. Freedom.

A literary work will be considered 55 Fiction if it has:
Fifty-five words or less (A non-negotiable rule)
A setting,
One or more characters,
Some conflict, and
A resolution. (Not limited to moral of the story)
*Source Wikipedia

To read more 55 Fiction you can here

Related Posts with Thumbnails
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

12 Comments »

  • Anwesa said:

    55 words which describe a million emotions…..

    [Reply]

  • A desi said:

    MEANESS AT ITS PEAK!

    but terrific scribbling Lena

    [Reply]

    The Colors Magazine

    thank you :)
    not sure if mean, guess he did not want to play by her rules :)

    [Reply]

  • Ray said:

    Is it mean? Certainly is at the peak of what mean can be? I do not think so, she clearly is done as well, else why would she slam the door? For finality. Also, she suggests “as if you still care” knowing full well already that it over and he does not. Anyway, great writing Lena! I love it…

    [Reply]

    The Colors Magazine

    I agree with your point here.. guess she still needed to feel “as if he still cares” but he didn’t do anything to support this feeling in her.

    Thank you :)

    [Reply]

  • Mahesh said:

    So mean of him to do like that :(

    Very nice attempt :)

    [Reply]

    The Colors Magazine

    Thank you, Mahesh :)

    [Reply]

  • Harini said:

    Thats so sad and true… I mean, the girl is sad and the guy isn’t… so many emotions
    Loved it!!
    :)

    [Reply]

    The Colors Magazine

    yes, i guess it affected her more than him :)
    I am glad you liked it.

    [Reply]

  • Suresh Kumar said:

    Oh Gosh! In fifty five words, u have beautifully brought out the emotions of breakup. Gr88.

    [Reply]

    The Colors Magazine

    I wish i had more words to express whe whole palette of emotions :)
    Glad you liked this one.

    [Reply]

Leave your response!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site.

We love comments. But we love smart comments. Comments just for the sake of commenting will be deleted.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.

CommentLuv Enabled

ss_blog_claim=bb11f30874dc6d6425bbfea2596abbad