Break up
19 November 2009
12 Comments
She smiled bitterly at him, tears in her eyes.
Don’t forget to bang the door when you go, he said.
Why?
That’s how people make it final.
Then can you stand at the window and watch me leave?
Why?
As if you still care.
She banged the door. He switched on TV and grinned. Freedom.
A literary work will be considered 55 Fiction if it has:
Fifty-five words or less (A non-negotiable rule)
A setting,
One or more characters,
Some conflict, and
A resolution. (Not limited to moral of the story)
*Source Wikipedia
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(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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55 words which describe a million emotions…..
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The Colors Magazine
[Reply]
MEANESS AT ITS PEAK!
but terrific scribbling Lena
[Reply]
The Colors Magazine
thank you
not sure if mean, guess he did not want to play by her rules
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Is it mean? Certainly is at the peak of what mean can be? I do not think so, she clearly is done as well, else why would she slam the door? For finality. Also, she suggests “as if you still care” knowing full well already that it over and he does not. Anyway, great writing Lena! I love it…
[Reply]
The Colors Magazine
I agree with your point here.. guess she still needed to feel “as if he still cares” but he didn’t do anything to support this feeling in her.
Thank you
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So mean of him to do like that
Very nice attempt
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The Colors Magazine
Thank you, Mahesh
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Thats so sad and true… I mean, the girl is sad and the guy isn’t… so many emotions
Loved it!!
[Reply]
The Colors Magazine
yes, i guess it affected her more than him
I am glad you liked it.
[Reply]
Oh Gosh! In fifty five words, u have beautifully brought out the emotions of breakup. Gr88.
[Reply]
The Colors Magazine
I wish i had more words to express whe whole palette of emotions
Glad you liked this one.
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