Home » Literary Corner: fiction and poetry

Last Grip: 55 Fiction

3 October 2009 70 Comments

Contest Entry #17: Last Grip

Despite the blasts he gripped her wrist, leading her to the edge of the cliff. She gathered her long white dress and halted, “I can’t.” Hurt, he loosened his grip.

Wedding bells echoing!

Phone rang. She reached for the bed lamp. “Hello?”

“Elisa? About George …”

Numbed, she checked her wrist. It’s purple all around.

The Author about herself: I’m Glee Leah May Sanogal and I write through my pen name “Gleenn”; 26 years old, from the Philippines. I live in Bangkok, Thailand where I teach Mathematics to years 7- 11 in an International school. I love literature as much as I love numbers.

Gleenn is blogging at http://glee-glenn.blogspot.com

Find all other entries here

Related Posts

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (23 votes, average: 4.65 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

70 Comments »

  • Anwesa said:

    A good attempt…I liked the storyline very much.

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Thank you so much; first, for being the first to notice my story, and second, for liking it.

    [Reply]

    # 3 October 2009 at 2:12 pm
  • Aniket said:

    A unique take. I loved how you stretched the reader’s imagination here.

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Thanks Ani. I’m happy to know that the story conveys my very imaginations.

    [Reply]

    # 3 October 2009 at 2:41 pm
  • Hemanth Potluri said:

    it was so good…it had my grip tightened :)..

    urs..hemu..

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Hi, I know how it feels. I wrote this myself but it causes me weakness whenever I read it. Too much emotions flood in. Thanks. :)

    [Reply]

    # 4 October 2009 at 12:14 pm
  • nice A said:

    I love the consistency of this piece - from the title down to its ending. The conflict is encapsulated very well by this creative writer. Hmmmm, I have to read it over and over and painted a very dramatic scene in mind.

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Thanks Nice! I’ve been looking forward for this comment of yours. I’m glad it passed your standard. lol.

    [Reply]

    # 5 October 2009 at 7:24 am
  • Koko said:

    nice short story. A puzzling one, is a dream or reality? Hope its only a dream, if its for real - my sympathy to Elisa!

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    lol, i purposefully made it a puzzle. Some readers argue it’s a dream some claim it’s a reality.

    [Reply]

    # 5 October 2009 at 11:23 am
  • Joaquin said:

    Very nice story.:)

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    thanks a lot :)

    [Reply]

    # 5 October 2009 at 11:27 am
  • Joy said:

    Depressing yet you’re wanting for more….
    You keep my imagination running.. like it!

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    I’m glad I’ve triggered your imagination. :)

    [Reply]

    # 5 October 2009 at 12:34 pm
  • Recel said:

    Hey sis,
    I’m having the fastest heartbeat as I was reading the lines. Sure enough, you’ve captured my emotions! This is very well-written! What else can I say? I do believe you have the heart for writing and this very short story shows it!

    Great job!

    Now my question, how to vote? :D

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Indeed sis, the reader only feels the fastest heartbeat if he is able to grip the context of the story. And it takes a whole of imagination to be able to experience it. Thanks a lot.

    [Reply]

    # 5 October 2009 at 6:49 pm
  • Dorothy L said:

    Very well penned short story Gleen.

    Your thoughts were well rounded, dramatic and intense enough to actually get a grip on your reader…being myself in this case….using very few words!

    Congratulations on a job well done !

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    I had the story immediately in mind D! when I decided I wanted to write it. But it took me a few attempts to be able to deliver the scenes that I want my readers to see. I’m glad I was able to find the right words.

    [Reply]

    # 5 October 2009 at 10:30 pm
  • Nilda J. said:

    Your story was short but arouse my curiousity.i have to re-read it
    few more times but dont know if it is real or a dream.
    i liked it,it makes my imagination work a little bit.:-)
    Keep up the good work!!!!!!

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Thank you so much. I’m happy to know that you as a reader found the story puzzling as i intended it to be. It takes enough interest to be able to read it a few times and complete the puzzle.

    [Reply]

    # 5 October 2009 at 10:49 pm
  • Maybelle Jardiolin said:

    hello glee, nice short story.. i read it twice or thrice.. it makes my imagination running while reading it all over again.. i like it!.. keep up the good work :)

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    I’m glad you enjoyed the story Maybelle. Such a joy for an author.

    [Reply]

    # 5 October 2009 at 11:41 pm
  • nono said:

    hi glee,

    i love the story but i want to read it many times for me to catch up the true meaning of it..it will be sad if will happen in the real life… more interesting stories from you…good luck…

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    hi Nono,

    If you got the story by first reading, then that must defeat my purpose. If a reader has to read it several times to be able to imagine, identify the puzzle and complete it, now that’s good news.

    I’m glad you enjoyed the story. :)

    [Reply]

    # 6 October 2009 at 9:47 am
  • candy said:

    glee,

    Superb imagination glee!!!i read it twice.

    Its very unique short story..

    Congrats for the job well done!!!were here to support u my friend…..

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    oh, thanks a lot Cand’s for your vote of confidence. Are you sure you just read it twice? I read it a lot more times, lol.

    [Reply]

    # 6 October 2009 at 12:18 pm
  • Edna said:

    Hello Glee,

    Highly fictitious! I liked it! Two thumbs up for you!

    On the other hand, the story, concise yet imaginative, is some kind of a terrifying occurrence in real life. At first glance it could be a nightmare, too.

    Edna

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Hi Edna,

    You’ve pointed it right that the story could be a piece out from a real life occurence, a dream or a nightmare. Anything has a possiblity. Isn’t life is where most of the storylines based? And it is certainly true, that if it happens in reality, it must be terrifying. I pray that I wouldn’t have to be in Elisa’s shoes.

    Thank you for such worthy observation.

    [Reply]

    # 6 October 2009 at 12:31 pm
  • ognir odilas said:

    Glenn

    Great piece!
    At first glance I couldn’t get it. I have to re-read it until I was able to picture out and painted the scene. Very challenging! It awakens my creative imagination. Lucky Elisa, it’s just a dream.

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    hi Ognir,

    I’m glad my story has challenged your creative imagination. There are many dramatic scenes behind these few words and only clever imaginations can unlock them. And you did!

    [Reply]

    # 6 October 2009 at 6:26 pm
  • darel said:

    Wow, I’m really curious about this one…. Whether it is a fact or a fiction still has it’s unique story. Nice one, Ms. gleenn!!!! Can’t wait for the next story…..

    darel

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Hi Darel,

    Thanks for calling it unique, it really sounds good on my ears. lol. Sure more stories are coming from me. :)

    [Reply]

    # 6 October 2009 at 6:27 pm
  • Yev said:

    a remarkably gripping read, it does convey a context…
    I, your reader, am gripped!

    Thanks for this lovely treat. And more power!

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    I’ve glad you’ve found context out from these 55 words Yev, lol. And you’re welcome. I was more than happy to give this story as treat. It wasn’t easy though :) has challenged the writer in me.

    [Reply]

    # 6 October 2009 at 6:48 pm
  • Bernardo M. Billeza said:

    The author herself is exceptionally skillful, artistic and commendable at using implication that makes her work provocative especially in making possible intelligent guesses. Her way of suggesting the seemingly abrupt flow of events apparently and paradoxically encapsulates the vital elements of a story. One will not be able to get across the story at once if he/she is not good at making inferences and implication. Hence, filling the gap in order to capture the whole story maybe based on one’s experience or schema on how he/she conjures her abstract thinking process into connecting to a real concrete one.
    As for me, her use of this technique may be in accordance to her track of thinking and experience. In this way, she is connecting to her readers through their varied experiences and line of thinking. One is temptingly compelled to focus not on the words directly stated in the text but in using inferential thinking and logical reasoning that will lead to making intelligent guesses. A Reader will be attested of using her/his inferential thinking because it leads him/her to use his/her available experiences as proof to link his/ her guess with the text itself. On the other hand, he/she also uses logical reasoning as he/she needs to based his/her said available experiences if they match up the state of nature and facts of life.
    My own interpretation of her story based on inferential thinking and logical reasoning can be clearly summed up in this way. And I believe one of the most predictable and educated guess. Thus, implication is used to sustain my own judgment.
    The first three lines that talk about his gripping of her wrist at the verge of falling down the cliff defines to me that the woman and the man were on their way to their church wedding when suddenly a bomb blasted. This maybe implied because of the white dress she was wearing. The strong force of blasting may imply that it threw her on the edge of the cliff and the man immediately rescued her by gripping her hand. Hurt, the man loosened his grip can possibly be implied that he was most strongly impacted by the blast. Hence, he surrendered the grip and the woman fell on the rocky cliff.
    Then, wedding bells echoed. This may imply that they were near the church about to receive the Holy matrimony blessings.
    Phone rang. She reached for the bed lamp. “Hello?”
    “Elisa? About George …” This implies that she woke up she was already in the hospital. Someone rescued her. Then, she received a call from a concerned party or a friend of what had happened earlier within the day. By the way, Elisa is her name and the husband’s name is George. Elisa ? may imply that the concerned party or friend that he/she has a shocking news about George. It may possibly that George is dead because the news is stressed about him. The use of ellipsis after his name implies that the news is worst.
    Numbed, she checked her wrist. It’s purple all around. This implies that her bruise on her wrist ,a product of George’s gripping, is still paining and the terrible experience. It’s purple color symbolizes that he, George never surrendered up to his last breath to save her from falling down the cliff.
    The elements of the story could also be implied as:
    Characters: Elisa, George, a concerned party or a friend.
    Setting: Cliff and hospital
    Theme: Facing dangers in the name of love
    Plot: IMPLICATION IS A LITERARY DEVICE

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    oh Bernard, this is more than I expect for a comment much more for a review. Thank you so much for using your expertise in giving such a quality critiquing. As I read your interpretation, it dawned on me that there are various ways a reader can interpret this story. You have seen angles that I haven’t. And you’ve mentioned things that are very possible. And you are very right in pointing out that it requires logical reasoning as much as imagination to unlock the encapsulated context and scenes.

    Thanks a lot. :)

    [Reply]

    # 6 October 2009 at 7:06 pm
  • Mhike said:

    Miss Glee,

    Congratulations for this wonderful piece of yours.

    You did it well.

    Nice presentation of ideas and good choice of terms.

    Keep up the good work.

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Thank you Mike. Indeed I chose carefully the terms to use in this piece to be able to deliver the scenes that I need my readers to see. But it wasn’t easy. This is the first time I’ve written a 55 fiction and being a writer that is good in describing things vividly, I found this task tough. I’m glad I was able to do it well. Thanks again.

    [Reply]

    # 6 October 2009 at 7:09 pm
  • Anitha said:

    I never imagined so much could be expressed with so little - you have very effectively used a meagre number of keyboard characters to express a saga. Great economy of words. Well done. This could only come from a math teacher - concise, yet precise, and aesthetic too!

    I would rate this “5 stars”

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    These comments made me pause for a while, absorbing. It never occurred to me that the quality of this 55 fiction could also be attributed to my being a Maths teacher. But then why not? Mathematicians are great in being precise and concise yet imaginative. I can guess this observations must come from someone who is also in the field of Maths?

    thank you so much Ani. :)

    [Reply]

    # 7 October 2009 at 7:57 am
  • Amity Me said:

    Gleenn:

    Hi! a fellow Filipino?

    i like your story and you have the gift of writing…

    wish you will win in this contest!

    :)

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Hi Ami,

    yeah, I’m one of your people. I’m happy to know that you liked the story. And thank you for the well wishes. I’ll visit your site soon. :)

    [Reply]

    # 7 October 2009 at 10:10 am
  • Sangfroid said:

    Wow!! Had to re-read it. Excellently done. Reminded me of a similar piece I’d written a while ago - http://geekydood.wordpress.com/2009/07/12/the-phantom/

    Mind you, just similar. No way close to class yours belongs to :-)

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Aw, thanks a lot for your votes. Glad you liked it. I’m gonna go check your piece. :)

    [Reply]

    # 7 October 2009 at 3:02 pm
  • Michael said:

    The limit of 55 words inevitably leads to the necessity of an impressionistic writing style. With this piece, the author has shown to be a master of impressionism–giving just enough information to get the reader’s imagination going, yet leaving enough space for a free flow of associations and the joy of constructing a deeper meaning.

    At first, the setting, indicated by just the single word “blasts”, seems to be clear: We are in the middle of a firefight. However, the protagonists “he” and “she” are entirely a construct of our mind, led by associations. We only know she wears a long white dress, which triggers the association of a wedding dress, and he wants to lead her to the edge of the cliff and jump down with her to certain death. However, she cannot step over the cliff.

    “Wedding bells echoing” could either mean that they can hear the bells while standing on the cliff, or she hears them in her dream. I assume she is sleeping or at least snoozing in her bed, since she reaches for a bed lamp when the phone rings. Either way, it’s a cut, an abrupt switch from one scene to another, from battlefield to bedstead.

    When she gets the phone call, she checks her wrist, which was previously held by “him”, George. She is numbed, which could mean she is either hurt physically after an injury or emotionally after receiving bad news. I assume in this phone call she gets the news that her fiance George, passed away. She is probably not at a hospital, and George did not jump down the cliff, otherwise someone would have brought her the news personally or seen his jump with her own eyes respectively. That means she’s at home, some time after the incident at the cliff. It could not have been a dream, otherwise her wrist would not be “purple all around”. Therefore, I conclude her love died at war, well knowing that there was no escape from death.

    One final question remains. Why did she not jump down with George? To answer this question, we have to remember that with a limit of 55 words every word counts, and in this case I believe the answer lies in her very name. Elisa is Greek for ‘my God is a vow’, ‘God’s promise’, or ‘dedicated to God’, which means by committing suicide with her loved one she would break with God, as suicide in Christian belief is considered a grave sin. On the other hand, her husband George’s fate of dying in war is predetermined by his name, the name of Saint George, who fought against a fire-breathing dragon (a symbol of satan) and eventually became a martyr.

    With this in mind, Elisa, the one faithful to God, can be sure that George is waiting for her in paradise. Therefore, being reunited would be the ultimate stage of God’s plan for them. Suffering temporary pain due to the loss of George on Earth is then a price she will be more than happy to pay in exchange for being with her love in eternity.

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    It awed me that so much of hidden scenes in the story were revealed by this interpretation. One can conclude that this is done by a writer himself. Almost all the details were touched and given light, much to my satisfaction as the author.

    Do you think the puzzle is almost complete? …

    Thanks a lot Mike. I am very honored to have my story interpreted by an excellent writer.

    [Reply]

    # 7 October 2009 at 3:50 pm
  • femeome said:

    Successful, perfect and impressive piece! I don’t have a strong imagination but reading this piece many times made my imagination worked. It’s incredible! You’re really a good writer. Your piece stirred my emotions. I felt sick at heart for Elisa. I love you’re style, honestly. Please write more :)

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    I’m really glad you liked my style femeome, and that it has stirred your imaginations. I’ll try to write more, must find time. Thank you.

    [Reply]

    # 7 October 2009 at 4:38 pm
  • woofer said:

    the author is awesome.the story she wrote is clearly full of emotions.I salute her for being able to write this nice story.I kept on crying while reading it.
    In my own interpretations,the girl who was about to get married had a dream.she saw herself and her boyfriend walking on an aisle but upon reaching the groom’s arm she felt mixed emotions.the phone rang.she picked it up and someone informed her that her boyfriend died.

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Hi Woofer,

    I can tell that you also have a gift of imagination. These scenes you’ve painted above are very possible. Thank you for your appreciations and I’m glad you enjoyed the story.

    [Reply]

    # 7 October 2009 at 6:36 pm
  • fe said:

    Hi Gleen

    This is a nice piece. It’s a literary piece that would make the reader really think and decipher what the writer wants to imply. I can say that you have a very wide imagination. And you’re a good writer. Alhough its a fiction, it could also happen in reality.

    Keep it up!

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Thank you for your votes of confidence fe. You are right, the story coud also happen in reality.

    [Reply]

    # 7 October 2009 at 6:46 pm
  • john said:

    excellent. short composition but meaningful.i was carried away by reading the story.you are a good author you awaken my senses.do more because you have a talent.thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts.

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    hi John,

    I’m glad the story has awakened your senses. I’m sure it triggered your imaginations too. I’m certain more stories will come from me in the future. Thank you.

    [Reply]

    # 7 October 2009 at 7:15 pm
  • kathy said:

    the author was great,the scenario is perfect and the story strike into my soul.good job

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    That says all Kathy. Thank you.

    [Reply]

    # 7 October 2009 at 7:40 pm
  • George Lane said:

    Definitely a piece to make the reader think deeply; a true challenge with so few words. A ‘twist in the tail’ of the kind I have used myself; and it takes me over 1000 words to make it work.

    There are many ways the story can be interpreted; this is an excellent example of how the reader’s own imagination can be drawn upon as an influence upon itself.

    Brilliant! Keep it up!

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Thank you so much George. I had been looking forward to read the comments from a best selling author not to mention a world champion of Mental Maths Calculations for several times who happened to be my virtual friend. This is an honor.

    You are right. To make the readers picture a varied scenes and to solve some puzzling events out from 55 words is a tough work. A complete challenge. It definitely challenged the writer in me and I’m happy she didn’t fail me.

    Thank you.

    [Reply]

    # 7 October 2009 at 10:31 pm
  • Rasmeet said:

    hi teacher
    wow this story is amazing
    in just 55 words u have told such a wonderful story
    it is very meaningful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    very nice!!!!!:)

    from Rasmeet

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    hi Rasmeet,

    wow! I’m glad that you made it here. And I’m even more glad that you liked the story. Thanks :)

    [Reply]

    # 8 October 2009 at 3:27 pm
  • Todd Masters said:

    Hi there

    Amazing title and amazing story. I dont know how to put it Ms. Glee Leah May Sanogal you have potential girl. Go for it please do write more stories. Ill be waiting, hungry for more.

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Thank you Todd, it’s good to know my story is gaining me fans. I’m glad you enjoyed the story. :)

    [Reply]

    # 9 October 2009 at 2:35 pm
  • Deboshree said:

    hello teacher
    nice story teacher…
    i hope u win!

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    thank you deboshree. I’m sure the best story will win.

    [Reply]

    # 9 October 2009 at 3:14 pm
  • Jaspher said:

    Wow! Great Glee! Congratulations! Am so glad to know that you don’t only love numbers but literature as well. What you wrote was indeed a unique one. Keep it up!

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Yes Jas, I break the notion that Mathematics and literature can’t be together. They can actually effectively compensate each other. thanks for making it here.

    [Reply]

    # 9 October 2009 at 11:24 pm
  • nice A said:

    Wow, this piece has drawn a number of reactions! Bernardo’s and Michaels’ comments impressed me a lot though as they exhaustively interpreted the entire short work. Their interpretations remind me of a Literature teacher’s flexibility over various ways of interpreting any fiction. The saying, “there are a hundred and one ways of killing a cat” applies here. It’s a big mistake if we limit the interpreter’s (e.g. students) diverse experiences that they may relate to the story to come up with my interpretation.
    For me, it’s a reality not a dream as may be inferred from the last sentence (Numbed, she checked her wrist. It’s purple all around.). I can see that Elisa was prevented by George, a third party, not the groom to fulfill her wedding. George might have not been able to accept the fact that Elisa is now going to be wed as he still loves her. So on the wedding day, he abducted Elisa and ran away with her while some police were running after him, thus the blasts. While passing a cliff, Elisa struggled physically to let her go but George gripped her hand very tightly resulting to the bruise. It could be inferred from the telephone conversation that George jumped off the cliff or was shot by the police chasing him resulting to his possible death.
    “She gathered her long white dress and halted, “I can’t.” Hurt, he loosened his grip.” I’m a bit confused on this part who is hurt. Is it Elisa or George? I muse though based on the punctuation after “hurt” that it’s he probably because Elisa can’t run away with him to escape the wedding. It’s feasible this way as he believes that she loves him still but she refused to run away, thus he loosened the grip when he realized that it’s no longer true.
    So, Gleenn, I would say that you have achieved your objective as a creative writer in rousing the interest and imagination of your readers. I’m sure a bright fiction writing career awaits you. Keep writing and improving your skills.
    Congrats, you’re the winner to me for the depth of imagination you have stirred in your readers!

    [Reply]

    # 10 October 2009 at 7:01 pm
  • nice A said:

    ERRATUM: It’s a big mistake if we limit the interpreter’s (e.g. students) diverse experiences that they may relate to the story to come up with ONLY ONE OR UNIFORM interpretation.

    [Reply]

    Gleenn

    Hello Nice,

    First, I would like to thank you for making it here and for interpreting this short fiction despite your busy schedules and demanding functions. It is an honor for us to read your intepretation given your expertise and solid background in the field of literature.

    You said it right, that “there are a hundred and one ways of killing a cat”. This principle strongly applies to this literary piece, that as Bernard and Michael mentioned, is full of implications. Everyone’s interpretation given above is commendable. And take note, they tried to kill the cat.

    Your intepretation surprisingly deviated from most of the interpretations from above. It made the story and its puzzle more interesting.

    Thank you once again. :)

    [Reply]

    # 10 October 2009 at 7:06 pm
  • The Colors Magazine (author) said:

    I loved your story, really.. it leaves so much space for thinking and imaginations, can be interpreted in many ways but I would like that you finally tell us your own interpretation of the story :)

    [Reply]

    # 13 October 2009 at 4:04 pm

Leave your response!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site.

We love comments. But we love smart comments. Comments just for the sake of commenting will be deleted.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.

CommentLuv Enabled

ss_blog_claim=bb11f30874dc6d6425bbfea2596abbad