Have You Ever Wanted…
First things first. If you still didn’t send your entry to 55 Fiction Contest you should hurry up. Just 4 more days till deadline. Entry is free and I already got a number of really good ones, so what are you waiting for?
I also remind you that the prizes for the winners are the books from Sai-Kiran Publications.
Now to today’s post.
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you almost believed it is already yours?
Like when you were a small kid you dreamt of a kitten for your birthday. You counted the days. You knew how much fun you would have with your new pet. It should be a white one. A cute white bundle of joy. You decided to call it Snowy, chose a place for it to sleep where she would roll herself into a ball and make you smile every time you look at her. You imagined how you would go to school and tell all your mates about your new little friend and everyone would beg you to show them your Snowy. And you would choose the lucky ones and bring them home and show them your white love.
And then the Day comes. You wake up, run to the piles of beautifully packed gifts, don’t pay attention to anything. You are searching for her, your Snowy. And she isn’t there. You are disappointed and leave crying. Your parents don’t understand what is wrong. They got the best gifts for you, and yet you left like you don’t care. But how can you explain to them that you don’t need any gifts? You need Snowy. Your Snowy, the one who sleeps nested up to you in the night, the one your friends love so much, the one that scratches your arm to get your attention. The one you never had.
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you almost believed it is already yours?
Like that boy in your high school when you were fifteen. The one all girls wanted to be with. The one who you gave the most mysterious looks hoping secretly he would look back and your eyes would meet and he would fall in love with you. And one day he looks back and your eyes meet and you believe that’s it. That’s the moment when he fell for you. And since that day nothing is the same. You know he loves you. You imagine him asking you out. You picture your first date. Romantic moon walk, first kiss in the moonshine. Him smiling at you. You smiling back. You hear him saying “I love you” and you whisper it back. And you cannot imagine yourself more happy. The guy of your dreams is really yours. Until the moment when you see him kissing one of the most popular girls in the school. Your guy. The one you planned to marry. The one you wanted to have kids with. Two girls. Maybe even twins. Your guy. The one who does not even know you exist.
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you almost believed it is already yours?
Like when you want just a call, or maybe a message. When you want to hear simple words from someone you love. You feel sad and low and you only want to hear their voice. You want them to say all those words they are used to say when you are upset. You want them to be with you. You only need this one call and you want them to make that call. You want it so badly that you believe it will happen. No matter what. You know it will happen and you will get that damn call. You almost hear your cell ringing. You know it will. And you are waiting and waiting and waiting… And nothing happens. The phone is silent. Not a beep. Nothing. Not even a message. You decide to wait a little more. Then a little more and more and more. Nothing changes. And you are all alone in this world. Trying to calm that sadness. Trying not to cry. Trying to find excuses. Trying to ignore those un-voiced thoughts, those un-shared news, those lived-alone-through emotions. Succeeding for a moment which is long enough for you to fall asleep. Waking up in the morning and still having all those un-expressed feelings in your heart. And it aches badly.
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you almost believed it is already yours?
I do. All the time. I wish I didn’t.
(6 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5)
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I do too. I’m glad I do. Cos I will never lose my imagination ( at least i hope not) and with my imagination I try to make my world a lot happier. Pretending that someones hugging you when you really need a hug but can’t get one makes you feel loads better.
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The Colors Magazine
I know what you mean, sometimes a thought can materialize and make you feel better when even for a moment
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i still want that kitty
nice write up dearie
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The Colors Magazine
you can get the kitty now, can’t you?
thanks, sweets
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oh no! it pricks my heart Lena!
I do, too! I wanted a call, a message but it’s not coming at all and then I pretend we did talk, but was just sheer imagination, to calm myself, my feelings that’s been hurting and i’d woke, so badly hurt, and there again, i’d believe so badly, he would be mine, but that was just a dream…
very, very nice post!
write some more…love is one endless topic worth writing for…
smile and the world will smile at you:)
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The Colors Magazine
I wish sometimes dream would become true
of course will write more, can’t imagine myself not writing
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yea i do that too !!! so many times waited badly for a single Hi or hello… just wanna hear the voice from the other side.
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The Colors Magazine
i wish for all of us to hear those “hi’s” whenever we want to
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hii..
u knw der r times wen thr r certain questions gng thru ur mind.. u come across somethin.. n u get all ur answers. this is one such site… glad i visited this site…
keep up the good work..
Rahul
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The Colors Magazine
I am glad if you found answers to some of your questions here on my site.
Welcome here!
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Lena, beautiful writing with great insight for human emotion. You are truly blessed with a beautiful heart.
Great pics too!!!
Hugs, JJ
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The Colors Magazine
thank you, JJ
it means a lot hearing this from a beautiful soul like you
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hey Jaanu, i could so relate to that gift part, though not with a kitten… Mine was a Game CD if i remember right!
we so want something and think we’ll get that, that our loved ones who get a nice gift for us cannot figure out what is wrong! 
nice one..
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The Colors Magazine
That part was just an example, Vinay. Guess many of us can relate to this part because most of us don’t get satisfied with whatever we get.
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O my gosh!
How do you do this? Lena,
….Always and as always play the same music that I play and hear only from my head. The exact word, exact instance and exact emotions have been felt and almost feel everyday!
Things you say, not always we notice in our daily life but your words make us realised everytime when we read that such little but lovely things exist!
Longing is like Living! I go through it every single minute of my breath. Longing have always given me a Hope and a positive prospective of things and life.
Perhaps, sometimes, longing have such heights I with my thoughts just disperse in scattered direactions, which is bad ofcoarse!
However, the “wanted something so badly that you almost believed it is already yours”,….. is a beautiful feeling that brings sometimes that innocent little curve on lips, a smile of the face when nobody is looking at you
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The Colors Magazine
I know what yoг mean saying it’s a beautiful feeling.. sometimes it is, but sometimes it really goes to such an extent when we cannot accept that it is only in our mind and not in reality.
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Oh, great post, Lena!
I so enjoyed reading it.
I think we all have those kind of longings you speak of.
When I was a little girl I wanted a puppy so much, one that our neighbors were giving away.
My mom & dad told me I could not have it as we already had a dog.
I was so sad and thought about that puppy every day and wnated it so much.
Well, on my birthday I got a surprise gift …it was the puppy!
I was so very happy and danced for joy.
These days I don’t really long for much as I find my life is so complete.
I’m very blessed!
Thanks for this post, Lena.
I do so enjoy how you write.
You touch hearts with your words.
Margie:)
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The Colors Magazine
you were a lucky one to get that puppy
It is always a great feeling when our loved ones fulfill our wishes and dreams.
thank you for your beautiful words
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Good blog and left me pondering over it for quite sometime.. I know I want few things in my life and there was a time when I expected things to happen the way I wanted it. But now I have sort of learnt my lessons and I know the difference between facts and fiction. Though I have to confess it is a refuge to take shelter in fiction at times
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The Colors Magazine
I can relate to everything you said. It is so tough to feel this difference between real and fiction because fiction is so much warmer and more beautiful at times.
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Guess am late to join the party but then again not too late right?
I suck at 55ers. But I’ll still give it a try for sure.
Will try to mail it to you by earliest.
Happy judging!
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The Colors Magazine
It is never too late to join a writing party
Looking forward to your entry
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And now to today’s post.
So right. I KNOW. It hurts.
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The Colors Magazine
It damn does. But we can’t help it, can we?
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Hi,
You voiced my thoughts….I have found myself waiting for tht phone call often..and most of the times i hear my phone ringing even though it is only in my imagination:(
Nice post, Lena
I can understand, tht was straight from heart.
Hope all is fine,
Take Care
Akanksha.
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The Colors Magazine
I so wish sometimes that imagination turns into reality. But some things are not up to us, are they?
All is fine, dear. Hope things are great at your end too
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I have been thinking what all I ahve wanted and I still want and they are way too many.
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The Colors Magazine
May you get everything you want in life
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it was a nostalgic post… you reminded me of my stupid wishes of childhood which seemed do precious at that time…and ohh yess the crushes… gosh
… your post brought a smile on my face 
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The Colors Magazine
I am glad this post could make you smile
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Yep, all of the time!
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The Colors Magazine
Same here!
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Does not matter…I wanted it so very much is what matters.
Excellent as usual. Gifted you are, Lena..
*cheers*
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The Colors Magazine
Thank you, Sib
You are right, the only thing that matters is that you wanted it!
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hey!lovely post.
read somewhere in those comments above me, “living is longing” cant agree more to that lady,n to u too…
been going thru tuf times myself,but luckily enuf never had to ‘wait’ for the fone cals n msgs n ol…hv a stiff neck frm prolonged studying at table,n need someone to gv me a proper massage,like the one give to them,but cant trust neone wid my neck(seriously, dat hurts too!)not mocking or nething,but just trying to point out the dat the ‘waitin’ n ‘wishin’ never really is over…love u for the post.(i know u already know that)
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The Colors Magazine
your comment made me smile, like you always do
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I did but now I don’t. I don’t feel any better but I do feel any worse either. Some day the wanting will come true with someone who is worthy and will return it.
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The Colors Magazine
Absolutely, some day with someone all of our wishes might come true
Good luck!
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i have been there..done tht..and now am just too afraid to want it as much even when it is completely mine.
its sad i know but with great dissapointments, are born great fears which never manage to leave u alone!
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The Colors Magazine
You just expressed what I felt when writing this post
I am also afraid to want something even when it is so completely mine already.
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i m tired and i m weary…
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The Colors Magazine
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I have definitely been in the wanting something just like this, where you could almost feel it and certainly a major let down if it does not happen. After reading this though I am a bit let down now. Maybe you should have to call everyone that reads this post Lena - to give us a bit of a lift back up after we get so down.
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The Colors Magazine
I guess one day I will make a hot line - to cheer up everyone in need
Did not want to make you feel down, Ray
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This entry stabbed me right in the heart. I am in this situatuion now.
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