She came to that café every day. Three years. Three long years. Thirty-six months. One thousand ninety-five days. Or one thousand ninety-six if she included today. She came there every single day. Be it rain or snow she still came. In joy or sorrow, crying or smiling she would still come. She would come even on doomsday if she had to. Preferably alone. She loved being around people but going to this place was something which belonged to her only. And she would not change it for anything in the world. It seemed like betrayal to her. This place was theirs.

Over these three years the place had not changed much. Same people visited. Same music was played. And they still had the best cappuccino and cheesecake in the area. She wanted to believe she was the same too. Yet she knew she was not. Too much she had lost three years ago. Too many emotions she had put into this thirty-six month long journey. Exhausted, drained she tried to gain the strength from within but it only seemed to ooze away.

Today it was her last time here. She decided so. And this decision was final. Looking back she tried to accept she could not waste her time waiting for someone who had promised to come back but never did. She tried to but she always failed. Now she forced herself to slip into a new way of life. No cappuccino. No cheesecake. No him.

She looked at the table where they used to sit every time they were here. It was the one in the corner. That table was always occupied these days. By different people. But mostly the place was taken by his friends. Once they had been her friends too. Not anymore. Some of them noticed her and greeted with a nod. She didn’t reply. She just shifted her glance. How did it matter anyways if he was not there? She didn’t need to look at that table to prove his absence. The heart felt it. The aching void in it.

Coming to that café was like a ritual. It helped her live. It helped her wait. But she was waiting for something unfeasible. She was searching for something which she had lost long ago.

And it hurt. It hurt to know that he was no more. Well, he was alive - was he? - but at the same time he was not. He was somewhere so far that it seemed like he was long gone. Gone forever. And it was so painful to accept it. So sore to lie to herself, to play a cruel game where everyone would only lose.

She tried to escape the truth. But can you escape emptiness? Can you persuade that void? Can you talk to that empty place at their table?

She looked at entrance door. What if he came in now? What would she do? What would she say? Would she run towards him, her eyes kindled with happiness? Would she cry? Would she laugh hysterically? Or would she just sit there silently waiting for him to approach her? But waiting for what? What possibly could he tell her that she didn’t know? What could be said other than what had already been said? Back then… Three years ago.

She remembered that day when he had stepped into that café with a shining smile on his face and a sad look in his eyes. She caught that look instantly and questioned him but he refused to accept she was right.

“It will all be fine, honey. It will be fine,” he repeated trying to convince her or maybe trying to convince himself.

“It won’t be. It can’t be. It is a war. People die there,” she sobbed. “Look at me. Just look at me,” she begged, forcing him to meet her glance. “It is a WAR. You could be killed.”

“Sweetheart, they pay money. A lot of money. And we need it. I still have to pay those bills of mom’s surgery. And we need to buy an apartment if we go for marriage. Imagine we could have that lovely house down the street just like you have always wanted.”

“But it is a war,” she couldn’t stop sobbing. “A war!”

“It will be fine, angel. It will be.” She was not sure if he believed it himself, but if he was trying to make her believe, it was all in vain. She wouldn’t buy it.

“You are not going.”

“I will be back.”

“What if…”

“Shh…” He stopped her. “There is no “if”. I will be back.”

“But…”

“I have to leave in the morning.”

The realization of his words didn’t come instantly. But when after a few minutes it finally came, she stopped crying.
They spent that last night together, staying awake till the morning, talking, making love, talking again.

She was scared. He was scared too.
She was afraid of losing him forever. He feared she might not be able to wait till he returned. After that odd night they together watched the dawn quickening in the east.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too.”

“Be back to me.”

“I…” he stammered. “I will.”

“I’ll be waiting for you. I will come to our café every day at 6 pm. That is my promise. Just please be back.”

He kissed her gently and said with more confidence now, “I will.”

“Write to me. Even if it is one line, just write to me. I need to know you are fine.”

“I will,” he said.

He didn’t. And that hurt the most. All these three years. Thirty-six months. One thousand ninety-five days. He didn’t write a single word. Nothing. She didn’t even know if he was alive. But stubborn as she was she entered that café each day at exactly 6 pm. She stayed long enough to drink a cup of cappuccino and eat a piece of cheesecake. Then she would sweep the room with her eyes one more time and would leave.

Today she wanted to leave for good. It hurt too much to come here every day alone and leave some time later. Again alone. She had had enough of coffee, cheesecakes and memories.

Sometimes she closed her eyes - for some reason that was painful too – and imagined him to be there. There he was, sitting at the same table. A smile playing on his lips. She saw him talking to James, the barkeeper. He was telling jokes and laughing at them himself. She even didn’t mind him flirting with the waitresses. Because he was there. While the eyes were closed. But the moment she opened them, the illusion disappeared and she had to face the gloomy reality.

She kept on sipping her coffee when she heard it. The song. She tried to locate its source and finally realized it was the radio.

“James, can you make it louder, please?” She asked.

He hesitated but did as asked.

…Wish you were here…

She knew that song. She hummed the tune beneath her breath.

…Wish you were here
don’t you know the snow is
getting colder…

Tears rolled down her cheeks.

…and I miss you like hell
and I’m feeling blue…

She was singing.

The talking in the room ceased. Everyone was looking at her. Everything was brought to a standstill. It seemed like some people held their breath in order not to disturb the longing soul. But nobody wondered. Everyone knew.

And she kept on singing. The song talked to her. And she talked to the song.

…I’ve got feelings for you
do you still feel the same…

Her voice betrayed her, she was trembling but she could not stop now. Her feelings had finally found an outlet.

…from the first time I laid my eyes on you
I felt the joy of living…

She glanced up, eyes dimmed with tears.

…I saw heaven in your eyes
In your eyes

And it was a cry from the depths. The pain wanted to break out. The grief didn’t want to hide anymore.
Why? Why did you have to leave?

The radio had stopped long ago but she continued singing.

…wish you were here…
…don’t you know…
…and I miss you like hell…
…and I …

Her voice broke. In the breathless silence of the room one could hear only her sobs. She choked back the tears and continued.

… I miss your laugh
I miss your smile
I miss everything about you…

Someone joined her in her pain. Probably the same guy who had nodded at her some time back. Now she realized it was Mark, his best friend. He looked at her and she instantly knew he felt the same. He understood.

…every second’s like a minute
every minute’s like a day…

And then both of them, together.

…when you’re far away…

She couldn’t shift her glance away from him. It took her by surprise that someone felt the same way as she did. That someone suffered the same loss. That someone didn’t feel ashamed of his tears.

That someone could sing with her.

…wish you were here…
…and I miss you like hell…
…the snow is getting colder…
…and I’m feeling blue…
…wish you were here…

And they felt he was there with them. They both felt it. Just for a moment but he really was there. And they could express…

…their regrets…
…wish you were here…

…their blame…
…wish you were here…

…their plea…
…wish you were here…

…their memories…
…wish you were here…

When the song ended she smiled faintly at Mark. He smiled back indecisively.
None of them noticed a lonesome figure at the entrance staying there for a while. Long enough to understand what was going on there.

Suddenly she lifted up her head and saw him. For a moment she thought it was another illusion of hers. Just a dream. And she would wake up now and he wouldn’t be there. But then her dream began walking towards her. He was looking at her, smiling with the corners of his lips.

“Wish you were here,” she whispered.

“I am,” he replied.

She touched his face as if she could not believe he was real. But he was. And when after a moment of silence he asked, “Do they still have cheesecakes on the menu here?” she believed he was real and he was back. To her.